I need constructive criticism

Posted
by
Jeff
 on
27Aug09
. 6 Comments

I hope this isn’t too much and isn’t confusing. What I’m asking is for suggestions on how I could have responded to Emily at 12:24 in a more constructive way. I thought I did but then I was told she is the one who knows what people should do and that my tongue is death. I get so tired of people responding to suffering in this way and I thought I was being half way decent.

I’d like to know how I might better handle these people. (Emily just replied today.)

Jeff

—————

In the comments to the post

Scripture of the Day

we have:

ramona

god is good,how quickly we forget.i,m out of a job due 2 the economy,i just need for my basics to be met, lightbills etc.my husband is doing the best he can it is not enough

————-

Then there are other comments which weren’t very helpful which I replied to. I think wrote this post:

Am I being too harsh?

Then back to the original post I get another comment with a platitude.

Emily

The name of the Lord is a strong tower. He is our provider…no job that you could ever have will provide like he will. He will never leave us nor forsake us and he knows our needs and situations before we ever do. Start speaking those things that are not as though they are and you will see what he is capible of. Instead of telling God how big your situation is….start telling your situation how big your God is. He is faithful all the time.

God Bless

to which I replied:

Scripture Zealot

Emily, nice comment but again I wouldn’t assume what people are or aren’t doing.

Jeff

Here is the rest:

  1. Emily

    Jeff,

    I was not assuming at all just trying to encourage and after reading the very first posting:

    god is good,how quickly we forget.i,m out of a job due 2 the economy,i just need for my basics to be met,housenote/trucknote/lightbills etc.my husband is doing the best he can it is not enough

    The part that says “my husband is doing the best he can it is not enough” basically is saying what her situation is so I was just saying instead of speaking that it is not enough….tell her situation how big her God and start speaking that he needs are met. Be careful what you speak out of your mouth because the power of life & death is in the tongue and we can cause damage if we are not careful.

    Jeff I was speaking to myself also in saying this, it should go for all of us. So before you blast somebody that is trying to be of encouragement to someone else, think before you speak and remember once again…life & death are in the tongue!

  2. 13 Scripture Zealot

    ” Instead of telling God how big your situation is….start telling your situation how big your God is.”

    You were reading a lot into her situation and what she is and isn’t doing. All she was saying is that financially her husband’s job isn’t enough right now. She also said that God is good. A platitude isn’t going to do much good for her right now. Job’s friends had plenty of them.

    See this post:

    Am I being too harsh?

    Jeff

  3. 14 Emily

    Jeff – I am not going to argue with you. Once again it was not an attack on anyone just simply trying to encourage another child of God and I don’t understand why you felt like I was calling her out in a negative manner or see fit to start a dispute with me. You should take that encouragement to, as well as her, & even myself. Everyone should take that and use it, it is very helpful and speaks volume in reminding us that God is greater than any situation we may face whether it be financial, relationship, family…etc and he is in control if we allow him to be.

  4. 15 Scripture Zealot

    OK then. I know you were trying to help.

    Jeff

6 Responses to “I need constructive criticism”

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  1. 1 Stan McCullars
    August 27 at 7:54 PM

    Sounds like she believes in magic. Monergism.com has some resources that might be helpful to her.

  2. 2 Jason
    August 27 at 8:41 PM

    Jeff: I would have responded similarly. It’s quite irritating when people spout off pithy Christianisms in some attempt to help. A simple “I will pray for you” is usually sufficient. To do much more risks coming off disingenuous.

  3. 3 Nathan Stitt
    August 27 at 9:40 PM

    I wouldn’t worry about it. Conversation tends to lean towards hostility on the internet. I would chalk this one up to the confusion that surrounds trying to have conversation using text. If you two had been having this conversation face to face, I am sure there would have been no confusion. Cheers.

  4. 4 Scripture Zealot
    August 27 at 9:47 PM

    Thanks.

    What I might do is a post on how to respond to people who are suffering and what not to do. I may use some of the things you guys have said. Then I can just refer them to that post.

    Jeff

  5. 5 Peter M. Lopez
    August 28 at 9:41 AM

    I think sometimes people just want reassurance. I’ve been told I don’t pick up on those cues well, so I’m certainly not an expert.  But, Jason has a point, sometimes a simple encouragement is all people need. The comment section of a blog is a hard place for a counseling session, or theology discussion for that matter. You’re doing great. Keep it up.

  6. 6 Scripture Zealot
    August 28 at 10:41 AM

    Thanks Peter. If I write a post about all of this I would say that just because someone talks about troubles they have doesn’t mean they want advice. Being listened to and prayed for is more what people would like to hear.
    Jeff

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