I’m not a diary writer but wrote a diary of a 2 week camping trip while in school and found it valuable, and then sadly I lost it. I wrote this surgery diary down on paper before I had a notebook computer, much of it a couple days after the fact remembering as best as I could. I want to type it out so it doesn’t get lost.
It may not completely fit the subject matter of this blog but I thought it might be interesting to some of you.
Although I still have some back pain, the surgery was successful and definitely worth it.
Standard microdiscectomy L4/L5, January 27, 2009, 7:30-9:15 a.m.
My wife and I had to be there at 6:00 a.m. I’m a cold blooded person in the winter, especially in the morning and they kept putting more and more blankets on me. I never did get warm. I was somewhat nauseated because that’s how I am in the morning and it was worse because of how early it was. The good thing about that is I wasn’t hungry from the requirement of no food since the night before.
I can’t lie down with my legs straight because of the back pain so I felt like a woman with a skirt (gown) on and no underwear when they were putting long stockings on my legs (to prevent clotting) and doing other stuff.
I thought I would read during part of the time beforehand but they were doing stuff to me nearly the whole time–asking questions, signing papers, taking blood, putting electrodes on, putting the IV in, etc.
When the nurse scanned my hospital bracelet I asked her how much I cost. She said today I cost a lot.
Respiration specialist came in and instructed me how to breathe deeply for after surgery (because pain and drugs can cause shallow breathing). I didn’t tell her I used to be a semi-professional trombone player. I knew it was policy for her to do that.
Then they wheeled me out of there so fast I hardly had time to say bye to my wife.
I wasn’t nervous about the surgery at all. And yet I get anxious about stuff that might not even happen. How strange. I can’t imagine how scary it would be for someone who is squeamish about that stuff even though my surgery is relatively minor.
Right before surgery:
I had no fear of dying. If I did I would finally be in my happy place, the place I have been longing for all of my adult life. It does break my heart to think of how sad my wife would be though.
I thanked God for the opportunity to have the surgery.
I asked what my pulse is (for some reason I always like to know this). They said 60 which is perfect. I said I try my best.
A nurse had me breathe some oxygen from the mask and then was about to put it on my face. I asked, “Am I going under now?” She said yes. I thought they would have said something about that. As people often do, I tried my hardest to stay awake just to see if I had the will power. Of course within 5 seconds I was out. Not gradually, just out.
After surgery:
I woke up and thought, “I just had surgery!” Surprisingly I could recite the verse I was memorizing at the time (James 3:17).
I could hardly talk because I was so tired and found out later that they tubed me for anesthesia. They didn’t tell me that beforehand.
In the recovery room I kept putting my hand on the nurse’s arm. What’s my pulse? (76) Can my wife come in? (No because of other patients’ privacy) Am I lying downhill? It felt like there was so much pressure and pull on the incision area I really thought I was at an angle with my back stuck to it.
She asked for my pain level (1-10) and I said 8.5. She gave me a Demerol shot.
Back in the hospital room:
It was so nice to see my wife’s face when wheeled into the room. It seemed like I was in the recovery room for five minutes and then her face appeared but I was there for an hour.
I’m a rather particular person. The bed wasn’t perfectly parallel and my pillow wasn’t perfectly centered. They tried to straighten the bed and it wasn’t right. I asked them to look at the floor. No tiles or lines on the floor. I asked them to look at the ceiling. They got it right.
The ceiling was moving and I jokingly asked the nurse to turn it off.
The nurse asked me if I wanted anything to drink. I did and she gave me choices. I have a hard time making choices when I’m under any stress at all and I had a hard time deciding. I rolled my eyes and my wife knew what I was feeling. Then when I said something, because I had no voice the nurse kept misunderstanding me and my wife finally figured it out. Grape juice was the choice because anything too acidic would upset my stomach more and I knew I needed some carbs. But I didn’t want any with added sugar.
I couldn’t relax, as much as I tried. My pain was still 8.5. They gave me two Percoset (not sure the dose of each pill but most likely 5mg Oxycodone). After a half hour the pain was still about an 8. So the nurse gave me another Demerol shot.
I had to go to the bathroom and they called in another nurse to help me. She was a skinny looking thing and I wondered… I didn’t know how to sit up but they helped me. Then I felt some trapezius muscles in the skinny nurse and felt better about that. Thanks for lifting weights, skinny nurse.
I pulled a lever to signal that I was done in there. A nurse asked me a question through a speaker and that’s when I really realized I had no voice and when I learned they tubed me.
The Demerol shot kicked in and my pain went from 8 to about 1 or 2. I was also so tired from it that I could hardly move. Right then the nurse told us now that the pain is under control I’m ready to go home. How can I go home if I can hardly move?
Getting dressed was quite a chore. Because of my aforementioned cold bloodedness I had a lot of clothes to put on. They put me in a wheelchair and it was off to the car. I was sure to thank the nurse before leaving. She and everyone were so nice and helpful. All of the nurses that have cared for me in the last two years have been super nice. That includes family doc, cortisone injections, x-ray, blood letting (as I call it), MRI, etc.
I’m able to stand up straight right away which was painful before the surgery.
The day after the surgery I really could have used another Demerol shot even though I was taking a max dose of Percoset. But after that day they did the job pretty well even though I was still in pain, especially getting up and down. My wife said she didn’t like seeing the pained look on my face so I tried to be more stoic.
I was really in the mood to pray. Not for myself, just praying in general. But the pain pills left me in a state of half sleep all the time. Soon after I would start to pray, very strange thoughts would come in. One that I remember is using coffee beans as a walkie-talkie. What?
There’s no way I can sit in the recliner or any kind of chair. The incision area hurts too much. Thankfully I can lie down. Lying on my side hurts just as much as lying on my back for some reason. Since I don’t have a laptop yet I kneel in front of the computer a few minutes a day to catch up on e-mail. Standing and walking through the house is extremely fatiguing for my lower back. I later learned that they basically burn the muscle off the spine and cauterize it so that may be part of it.
Taking a shower a few days after the surgery was a huge deal. My wife had to take some of the clothes off, put plastic over the incision and wash my legs. I washed my upper body. They dry. Then get dressed. This whole process left me in more pain and more fatigued than any other part of the process. It was probably the worst part of the whole week.
I can’t concentrate enough to do any intense reading like a commentary but I do have a book on my D2 (Personal Media Player) and am able to review memorized Scripture which I also have on it.
I have no appetite for normal food because of pain and pain pills.
February 1 (five days after surgery)
My nightly bad dreams have been better since the surgery but that ended last night unfortunately.
February 2
Unexplained anxiety attack this morning. Starting to very gradually taper off pain med which could be part of it.
February 3
Slept in the bed for the first time last night.
February 5
Starting to exercise just a bit. Pain is very gradually improving.
February 8
Ate normal dinner food for the first time.
February 15
The fogginess and stupidness seems to finally be lifting.
March ?
I went to two stores and was able to stand up straight and not have worse nerve pain from standing. This is a major improvement.
My normally bad insomnia has been as bad or worse than it’s ever been. I later learned that this can be an effect of anesthesia. Nobody told me that.
March 26
Progress is slower than I thought it would be but the right side pain from the herniated disk is drastically improved. I’m so thankful for this.
I still have “sitting pain” under my tailbone and pelvis. Today the back doc people said this isn’t a back/spine thing and while being sensitive to the fact that they don’t want to pass me around from doc to doc, they said I need to go back to my primary physician who is pretty knowledgeable about this type of thing and see what he says. He may refer me to someone else. I’m very disheartened about this. Sitting in a hard chair feels like sitting on a jagged rock. This is how it was before surgery too and I didn’t know how much surgery would help this. Not at all unfortunately. It’s very difficult for me to trust that God knows, cares and will provide either a solution (drugs and a beer are usually helpful) or comfort and strength to cope.
Just when I think I’m doing well with trusting Him and abandoning myself to Him a weak area comes up. I know He’s conforming me to His image. I wouldn’t have it any other way but it still stinks! But I have so much to be thankful for.
I will be going through Revelation and hope to get caught up in the imagery and God’s reality.
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